Love Forty
by Crests of Waves
Summary: James Potter has given up a life of magic after a tragedy to follow his heart in the muggle world. When Lily Evans, an old flame, returns to make things right, he realizes that with quite a bit of work he may be able to succeed in both worlds.
1. Chapter 1

The muscles in his legs were contracting and relaxing at such a rapid rate, he had no idea how his arms would keep up. _Thud. _He felt the racquet as if it were an extension of his arm. He knew there was an irritating piece of yellow fluff stuck smack dab in the center of the strings, but now wasn't the moment for such details. _Thud.___Interesting choice. His opponent had opted for a shot down the line when the cross court was completely undefended. _Thud._ A deep ache was now beginning to form in his left calf. As a full-time athlete, he was no stranger to pain, but now was not the time for a cramp. _Thud. _This time the opponent had thought it through. The shot went whizzing past his left ear, and he hung his head in defeat, listening for the bounce of the ball. Wait. _Tap._ The sound had come half a second too late. Either the shot was barely on the back line or out. Grinning, he looked up just in time to see the ref call it out.

"Love – 40."

He walked back to the baseline, trying and failing to hide the slight limp he had picked up. He turned around to see his opponent looking back at him, calculatingly.

"Match point."

No one cares about a limp at match point. This match is yours Potter. Take it. Getting into position, leaning back and forth, testing his balance, he looked back up. _Slap! Slap! _Holy mother of Merlin! What was that? He had barely even caught a glimpse of the serve as it left his opponent's racquet and hit the fence behind him.

"Fault!"

Was that really out? He squinted at the line before him. Where was the mark?

"That was in! What were you looking at?" He stayed behind. Bouncing from foot to foot, trying to keep his head in the match, away from his opponent's futile argument. On the next serve he would go for the cross court if he went for - What was _that_? He turned around. There was without a doubt a flash of red behind him. The red he'd known so well back in his school days. He turned around quickly, searching the bleachers for the source. Nothing.

"Mr. Potter, the match is back in session if you'd care to join us again." The ref was grinning despite the call to attention.

"Gladly, Jones, gladly." He bowed his head and returned to the baseline, bouncing on his toes, trying to keep his eye on the ball bouncing between the ground and the opponent's hand. One…Two…Three...he tossed it up, higher than normal. He was going for a serve down the middle. He'd have to go for the opponent's backhand if he wanted to get anything out of this. _Slap! Slap!_ He looked back at the fence stunned. He was serving easily over 200 kph. Where had he kept this power for the past two sets!

"Fault! Game, set and match Potter."

He looked around incredulously. There was no way anyone could tell if that had been in or out. It was way too fast. He stared at the spot on the ground where the ball should have bounced as his opponent waited for him at the net. "There's no way he could've known if that was out," James stated simply as he shook the other man's hand.

"If he was paying attention, it's not hard. It's more of an illusion of speed than actual speed. I can't serve faster than 200."

"No way! That was easily 200!"

"Are you willing to pay up for that?"

"If I had the dough," James shook his head as he quickly shook the ref's hand, and gathered his belongings. Briskly he began walking off the court towards the players' locker rooms, waving at the small scattering of tennis fans in the bleachers behind the fences. Noticing a particularly young girl he'd seen at all of his matches for this event, he searched around for her family. Not looking where he was going, he toppled into what felt like a soft brick wall.

"Oof!"

"Lily!"

"Yes, that would be me." There she stood in all her glory. He hadn't seen her gorgeous eyes in over two years. He had heard she'd gone on to become a healer, but hadn't heard from her since the avoidable break-up that had followed their co-valedictory speech on their last day at Hogwarts.

"Wha-What are you doing _here_?"

"I could ask you the same thing, but since you're an open book, we'll leave out that formality." Her tongue was as razor sharp as ever.

"Still not answering the question, Evans."

"We'll talk about that somewhere more private." Turning her back to him she headed towards the men's locker rooms, leaving James to enjoy the view. Of course, the fact that she was dressed in baggy shorts and tank didn't leave much to enjoy but nevertheless…

"I wouldn't advise going in there. Maicon will be changing."

"I saw him leave directly for the car. And seeing as this was the final match of the tourney, you should be the only other person using it."

"My coach -"

"Did not attend the match. I do my homework, Potter."

Rolling his eyes, he stepped into the locker room, throwing his bag on the floor before stripping off his shirt.

Almost immediately, Lily averted her eyes. "This _is_ a locker room, and I'll be using it for that purpose. Am I allowed to ask again to what I owe the pleasure of seeing you again?"

"Dumbledore."

"Yes, that explains a lot. Thank you for coming. I'll be seeing you…or not." He took a towel out of his bag to head for the tub full of iced water already waiting for him.

"Dumbledore sent me to recruit you, Potter. Seeing as you're not interested, I'll let him know." Crossing her arms, she stared after his retreating back.

"Always so cryptic. Would you please care to explain what this is about?"

"I'm sure you've heard of the Order of the Phoenix. He thinks you'd make a good addition to the team. He wants all of you, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew. Black's only agreed to join on the basis that you join also."

"Dumbledore knows my answer. He asked me last year under…under worse circumstances, and I refused. Nothing's changed," James grew quiet, staring at the ground before continuing. "If anything it's worse. I haven't held a wand in over four months. I have no idea where the bloody hell it is."

"Dumbledore doesn't doubt your abilities. And, maybe it's time for you to return to the real world."

"I didn't realize that all the muggles had been living in an alternate reality. This _is_ the real world, Evans."

"I thought you were much stronger than this. You can't run from what you can't handle."

"I guess you were wrong." Turning around, he walked away from her completely before submerging himself in ice and water. He heard the door shut as he Lily left the room.

"He's a bloody idiot. He never knew what he wanted when he graduated, and he still doesn't know what he wants now. I mean look at him! He's fucking playing tennis!"

"I don't really think there's anything wrong with tennis. If that's what he's always wanted to do, I don't see how it's your problem." Alice had grown accustomed to Lily's rants back in Hogwarts, but recently she'd become increasingly irritated by her ridiculous arguments.

"He's a bloody wizard. And, there's a war going on! He should be helping, not hiding!"

"I hardly think he's hiding from anything. If Voldemort was seeking him out, he could find him pretty easily, especially considering he's playing Wimbledon qualifiers next week."

"He should be helping!"  
"Bloody hell, Lily! Not everyone has your guts! And, if it matters at all what I say, I doubt it's guts that he's lacking. Maybe you should be looking at things from his perspective! It's something you've always needed to learn. Sometimes I think you have just a big a head as he does." Alice slumped down in the nearest chair, covering her face with her hands. The last thing she wanted to do was fight with Lily. "Look, Lils, I'm so –" She was cut off by a sharp knock on the door.

"Were you expecting someone?" Lily asked, looking apprehensive.

"No, let's see." She peeked through the viewing hole. "It's Black! What's he doing here?"

"Oh! I was supposed to meet him at four!" She jerked the door open without thinking twice. "I'm sorry, Sirius – "

"You'd think for someone so smart, you'd actually check if it was _me_ and not someone posing as me." He walked in without being invited and situated himself on the nearest couch.

"I don't think anyone would dare pose as _the_ Sirius Black. No one wants to be a doofus."

"Love you, too, babe."

"Same, darling." Despite this being only their second meeting since Hogwarts, they seemed to have picked up their sibling-ish rivalry right where it had left off. Unfortunately, the same had not occurred with James.

"Look, Evans, I'm not here for this," he gestured with his hands between him and her. "I want to know what you did to James."

"Nothing."

"Yeah, last time you did nothing, he withdrew his name from auror training."

"That was all his fault! Don't blame it on me. And, about this time, I just came in to ask him about his possibly joining the Order."

"He said no like I said he would, but obviously you had to give him a piece of your mind. You couldn't stay out of what doesn't matter to you."

"It did – does – matter to me. James and I may not be together anymore, but I still care about him, even if he's decided to throw his life away."

"He's not throwing his life away, Evans! If you'd actually known him, you would know that tennis has actually been somewhat of a passion for him. His parents' deaths may have finally gotten the ball rolling, but this was always coming. Maybe if _you_ hadn't left him for nothing, he would be juggling between the two worlds better than he is now. But, of course, nothing's ever your fault, is it?"

"I don't know what James has told you about what happened when we broke up, but I'm sure it's highly biased." She was speaking in a deathly quiet tone now. "He told me he was considering putting auror training on hold until next year. He wanted to try his hand at pro tennis. All I did was tell him the truth. He was being an idiot. He was throwing away an amazing chance at life! He had the full scholarship, Moody had specially requested him as his understudy and he wanted to give it all up for a stupid dream. I wanted him to understand…the weight of it…I thought someone should help him see the other side. He doesn't understand what's it like to start from worse than a clean slate. It's just hard – "

"Look, Lils, I understand where you're coming from, but you need to understand it's not always one mold ("Mold?" Lily interjected) fits all. That day, whatever happened, turned James off from his dream of becoming an auror. His parents' deaths turned him off of magic. It's – it's hard on him," Sirius' voice had softened considerably.

Alice, who had retreated to the back of the kitchen during the argument, came forward now to console a severely depressed looking Lily. Everyone seemed to be against her today, but hopefully this would help her understand what she'd been too prideful to two years ago.

"I hope you can try to see it from another way, Lils, because I – we – don't hate you. We'd love for you to be with us again. If you're up for it, I have extra tickets to Wimbledon," he took two passes out from his black coat, placing them on the coffee table. "I'll see you next week at the qualifiers?"

Lily seemed to have shut off for the moment, and Alice had to answer for her, "We'll try."

At the door, Sirius turned around to glance towards Lily, "Lilies don't look as beautiful when they're wilting. Get some sun and James, Evans." Cackling like the maniac he was, he ducked out the door before Lily could throw something at his head.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons may help you understand the mood of the second part of the chapter…or it may just be completely random and unrelated, but it's a fun song.


	2. Back Against the Wall

_Pop. Pop. Pop. _Taking care to crack each knuckle separately before bending low towards the ground, he waited for the serve. _Bounce. Bounce. _There was the toss. _Smack. Slap._ Argh! The ball had hit the corner perfectly clean, and ricocheted towards the fence. He couldn't even get the racquet on the ball. It's okay. He still has to win one more point before the match is his, 6-2, 3-6, 5-4. His opponent, Fernando Gasol, was a mere five foot four, but he packed quite a bit of power. James Potter was going to lose in the first qualifying round of Wimbledon to man who didn't even reach his shoulder. Jumping up and down, he tried clearing his head of the score line. It's okay. Every point is on its own. Win this one, and it'll turn around. Win this one and you've got it. _Slap. Slap. _This time he was ready. He rushed for the net as Gasol rushed for the swerving ball. _Pop. _What was it the Americans called it in baseball? Oh yeah, a fly ball to center field…_Slam! _Jumping up and down, grinning manically, he thumped his chest before returning to the baseline.

"Deuce."

The next two points were a blur, but before he knew what his arms and legs were doing, the final set was at 5-6, this time James in the driver's seat. It was once again Gasol's serve, the score at 0-30. Slice the next ball. Slice it. No spin. Wait. Or did he want spin? Merlin's pants! Forget it! Just do whatever. _Slam!_ _Smack. Tap. Thud. Thud. Pop. _"Arghhhhhh!" _Slam! _And, the crowd goes wild! Well…if there were a crowd, it most definitely would have gone wild.

"Love - 40. Match point."

Next four points were a blur, once again. This time the blur was in Gasol's favor. Was it the nerves? He couldn't even remember what the last shot was. What was wrong with him? Concentrate, Potter! This is worth more than the stupid back alley matches you play every day.

"Advantage Gasol." The ref's normally soothing voice was irritating him to no end. His eyes were no longer on his opponent. They were wandering somewhere between the left net cord and the empty bleachers to his right. _Smack._

"Game Gasol." Without warning, he slammed his racquet in the ground, letting out a feral growl in the process. What the bloody hell was wrong with his game? He needed to turn it on for the next game, but how? The blur had returned, once again not in his favor.

"Love – 40." Fuck. The positions had been reversed. Getting ready to serve, he decided that mind games would have to suffice in the absence of any physical game. _Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. _Fifteen bounces later, James abruptly served. His opponent was both frustrated and surprised as his serve hit the back fence before the opponent's racquet. Meaning business, James walked to the other side and did it again, this time only two bounces. Unpredictability was one of the hallmarks of a good tennis game. Maybe he was taking it too far, but it was within the rules.

"30 - 40 Potter."

Grinning this time, he returned to his normal pre-serve routine, no infinite bounces. He did not want to win by sheer cleverness and cunning. He wanted to win by skill, fair and square. And, quite appropriately, they played a twenty shot rally for deuce. James won it. And took the next two points for the game. He was now leading 7-6. If only he could break him here. Wiping his face, he was quick on his feet while Gasol remained at his seat for a long drink. He jogged around the baseline, hoping to intimidate. This was it. If he really wanted it, he'd have to stop playing like an idiot and keep himself in the match. Stop thinking. Closing his eyes and looking upwards, his game plan was fully formed. Don't think. Just play.

"Game, set and match Potter." He'd won! 2-6, 6-3, 8-6. Only two more matches before he was in the final draw! Two more.

"You did it, mate! Only two more left! You've got some freak tall guy next, but he'll be easy." Sirius slapped him on the back as soon as he'd made it back from the locker rooms. "Where's Chief?" He was referring to James' longtime coach.

"His daughter's sick. Her mum was visiting her parents up north, so…"

"What? Don't tell me his daughter's more important than the freaking Wimbledon!" Sirius looked appalled.

Laughing he replied, "Where's Rem?"

"With the girls by the stupid contraption you insist on using."

"It's called a car, Padfoot," James rolled his eyes. "What girls are you talking about?"

"Lily and Alice." Averting his gaze, Sirius began speed-walking towards the back of the player parking lot.

"Oy! Wait up, you dolt! Who told you to invite them? Honestly, Sirius, sometimes I wonder if you can keep your head out of my – " There was no point continuing as they had reached James' little, yellow car. The littleness was Sirius' primary complaint. He always walked out with a kink in his neck. It was, of course, not the car that had silenced his rant but rather the girl in white shorts, tank and abnormally large white hat – white, of course, being the color of Wimbledon. "Lily…"

"James…" She smiled. He briefly wondered why he was being nice to her or why she was even there. Only briefly. "That was brilliant! You were being stupid there for a second, and I thought it was gone, but wow! Where'd you learn to serve like that?"

"I wasn't serving well…only playing with his head for a bit. Something I learned from Sirius." He shook his head slightly, failing to understand what it was about those green eyes that never failed to leave him mesmerized.

"That's my man! You see, the only reason he's out there roughing it and I'm not is that I have sensitive skin. Otherwise, I'd be dominating him!" Sirius declared ridiculously. Lily stared at him in disgust for a moment before ignoring him completely. Alice, on the other hand, fell victim to his hilarity by breaking out in a fit of giggles. "Sirius, you _are_ an idiot. Have you _seen_ James play?"

"Have you _seen_ me play?" He waited briefly, "Nope. See what I mean? I taught James everything he knows. Now, if you please, I need a few minutes to cram myself into this beautiful piece of shi – sun." He proceeded to dramatically open the passenger side door and squeeze himself in.

"Anyway…I think…James, what I want to say…um, well…I talked to Sirius last week, and I've been thinking. Well, no actually I haven't, but I think Dumbledore really thinks you ought to consider returning to us. Look, tennis is great, but –" James who had been quiet for a bit awakened at Lily's spiel.

"Will you be riding back with us?" He seemed to ignore Lily and spoke directly to Alice.

"What? Oh – uh, yeah, I guess," Alice muttered looking toward Lily helplessly. Rolling her eyes, the red-haired beauty jerked open the yellow door, cramming herself in. Alice soon followed suit.

"Wait! Alice, do you happen to know where Remus is?"

"Oh, he had to apparate back home. Something came up…he wouldn't say." The boys shared a look at this development before James jogged back to the driver's side and slid in, as well.

"Everyone tucked in and buckled up?"

"Yes, can we get this thing moving now? It'll only take us five years to get back home."

"Patience is a wonderful thing you unfortunately lack, Padfoot. I'd try looking into it if I were you." James jerked the car in reverse and with a few more manipulations of the gears they were off. Within minutes they were driving away from Wimbledon, out of the back alleyways and finally immersed into the peaceful green hills.

"Why do you always _insist_ on taking the scenic route?" The impatient man-child had spoken again, this time with his head hanging out the window, resembling the dog he was.

Grinning James replied, "Why do you always _insist_ on sticking your head out the window?"

"That begs the question, young lad. Though if you must know, it's quite exhilarating." Sirius had of late developed a habit of speaking sarcastically like a "proper" English gentleman. He thought the whole idea overly hilarious, though no one seemed to understand why. After a few more minutes of what Sirius considered to be excruciating silence, he finally spoke up, "Why so quiet, ladies?"

"Admiring the beauty is easier when you shut up."

"I didn't realize I was quite so beautiful, Lils." For a second, his face truly looked serene until he grinned wickedly and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, fuck off, Black. You're hardly beautiful by any definition of the word."

"Of course, that would be James here, wouldn't it? I'm just too rugged and sexy to be considered beautiful, correct me if I'm wrong, Alice." He turned his attention to the brown-haired woman next to Lily, leaving Lily no chance to protest.

"Sorry, Sirius darling, I'm not allowed in the conversation," she waved her left hand at Sirius, giving him perfect view of the rock that now adorned her ring finger.

"Really? Longbottom's old lady not too much for you, then?" Biting his lip slightly as he considered the upcoming nuptials, he returned once more to the more importance conversation. "That's insignificant, though, Alice. You're still allowed to look, even if you're getting hitched. So, tell me…"

"Sirius Black, you are by far the ugliest man I've met. Happy, then?"

"Quite – hey! You make a horrible liar. I'll have you know I was voted – "

"We're here!" James declared, much to the delight of everyone in the car with the unfortunate exception of Sirius.

Stepping out of the car, which somehow Lily had already fallen in love with, she glanced around. It wasn't as breathtakingly beautiful as the ride here, but the view was still amazing. The road split the area in half. In front of them was a scattering of a few duplexes, some looking old and unmanaged, while others looked brightly extravagant. Behind them was a mini town, taken straight out of a Christmas film (minus the snow). It seemed like a small group of people had decided on whim to inhabit a hill out in the middle of nowhere.

"It's not as random as it looks. James knows the whole story, but I doubt you'd want to listen. It's quite the snooze-fest. Something about a battle between two warring females killing…or wait was it a love story? You know what? I doubt anyone cares!"

"So, you and James live here?"

"Oh, no! We actually have a flat in Dublin with Remus and Peter, but we come down here for tournaments."

"Dublin? Wow!"

"Yeah, we rolled out a map, James closed his eyes and put his finger on the map. He pointed to Iceland, but yeah…so we picked the closest thing."

"Dublin?"

"Don't ask. I think we were smashed when all of that went down. When we woke up the next day, we'd already moved into Remus' old aunt's place in Dublin. Apparently, we'd already promised to buy it. I think she was shitting us, but whatever, the place is amazing."

James discovered Lily and Sirius still laughing about something on the other side of the car. "What's so funny?"

"Dublin, James? Really?"

"Hey! It's amazing! I mean we really need to thank Peter's dad for showing us – "

"Wait, Peter's dad? I thought it was Remus' old aunt! Wow…we really were smashed," Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to recall what must've actually happened.

"No, Sirius, _you_ were smashed. Remus and I remember it perfectly well."

"No way! I _know_ for fact you had four shots. You're a lightweight. That would've been more than enough for you."

"Whatever, Padfoot, let's just get inside, can we?"

"He's lying, Lily-flower. Don't believe a word he says," he stage-whispered before following James into the closest duplex. It was a modest brick home with a faded blue and green door. She figured Sirius and James had probably had a fight about the color choice, so they'd just splattered on their respective colors. It looked quite nice, actually. "I can't believe you guys actually have a garden!"

"Oh, that's all Moony. He has a thing for home-grown tomatoes. Don't ask, but he's gone a bit loony since Hogwarts."

The foursome settled themselves in the homely living room, each with a cup of fresh lemonade as it was muggy outside. They passed an hour reminiscing about the "old days," carefully avoiding sensitive topics until Alice said she ought to get back to the office. Moody was probably turning the place inside out looking for the report on missing goblins. The man was hopeless. At this point, Sirius artfully excused himself to go watch the tomatoes grow for they were highly fascinating in the evening just before sunset. James had had to restrain himself from throwing something at his head. Lily, however, seemed to welcome the opportunity.

"James…I…look, Dumbledore wants you to know the offer still stands. I understand your pull to tennis. It's a passion. I may not have understood it before, but after watching you play, I can see it – maybe just a little, but I can. I was probably wrong to have laughed at you back when…back…yeah. But, I wanted to say I know you have a passion for the people you love, too. I know you'd rather they not face death at the hands of Voldemort and his cronies. I know you'd rather no one face that. I want you to consider it seriously because I know – everyone knows – you'd be a great asset to our side. Please, promise me you'll think about it." She made a daring move by scooting to the end of the sofa and placing her hand upon James'. Her eyes searched his smoldering gaze, as she pleaded once more, "Please." Not waiting for a response, she stood up quietly, gathering her things. She was stopped, however, when James grabbed a hold of her wrist.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Break up with me."

"I – I thought you were being ridiculous. You wanted to give up everything for a stupid muggle game. I worked so hard for everything, and you had everything I wanted. An internship directly under Moody? Anyone would kill for that! But, there you were giving it up like it didn't matter!"

"Of course, it mattered, Lily. I just – I wanted to make sure it was really what I wanted. Tennis was never just a hobby for me, and I wanted to get it out of my system before I took on something more serious. And then…and then…" He took a few deep breaths and found he could not continue.

"I know. I didn't realize then. I thought it was a frivolous pursuit. I thought you were afraid and ungrateful. I was wrong, but I still couldn't quite understand the pull a muggle game had for you, especially when we were at war. It was hard for me to fathom why anyone would put their life on hold for a whole year! I – "

"I'll do it." Lily turned around, looking shocked. Was it supposed to be that easy? Dumbledore had said to expect him to give her a hard time…to stick with it because he would regret not helping. Smiling slightly, she realized that she knew James better than the headmaster. Somehow, it made her feel better about what she'd done to him two years ago.

"Why?" She couldn't take his answer at face value. She wanted to know if he'd meant it because he wanted it or if he was just getting her out of his hair. She _knew_ he wanted it, but she wasn't sure if _he _knew.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. You guys are amazing, and I'll try to reply to them when I'm not too swamped. :)

"Back Against the Wall" by Cage the Elephant


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